Everything has been going smoothly. Invitations are ordered, decorations are on the way, the guest list is finalized. There have been appointments set with the bakery, florist, and photographer. Despite the smooth sailing, I’m stressed and the emotions are running high. I can’t even pinpoint it but during therapy I just felt all the emotions pouring out.
There’s a slight and ongoing anxiety. Worry about if delivery will be on time, if my decor is grand enough, and finances, finances, finances! Thankfully my parent’s are footing the majority of the bill… but when someone else is paying for something you want, there’s an extreme level of stress in that itself.
I’m constantly in fear that bipolar disorder is controlling my life. Any sign of anxiety or depression, and I start worrying I’m having a shift in mood. I have to remind myself that it’s normal to be stressed, especially with all of the circumstances surrounding my life even without taking the wedding into account. That’s just the icing on the cake.
I was reminded to stay present and in the moment:
- Reminding myself of all the things going right.
- Taking time to look at my fiance standing before me and be grateful in that moment
- Imagining the joy and excitement on the day
- Picturing the rest of our future and life together
- Why we agreed to get marry each other in the first place
- I am on schedule with my plans
- I have help and I’m not alone
Muffin and Tea 